Week 18 and 19: So in love.

**Happy Thanksgiving 2010. We are so blessed and thankful*

2 weeks have gone by since I have last posted a weekly update, with good reason: the trip to china has taken up most of the time -alongside packing, unpacking (both luggage AND the household.. we are still not quite moved in yet. grrr. there are so many boxes yet to be unpacked) but things are gradually settling and slowing down and I am grateful for this. with the holidays approaching, this nice slow pace is much needed and desired. I just can not wait to have lazy nights by the fire, listening to christmas songs, sipping tea/hot chocolate, crafting all things lovely, decorating, eating lots -but not too much- holiday food ;) and I definitely can not wait to finally start nesting. I have been itching to cozy everything up, and most definitely not only just because of the season. I know the urge is magnified by the obvious fact: the nesting instinct brought on by pregnancy. let me tell you- it is no joke, definitely a primal instinct. I am trying to not let it take control of me, but it is hard. this is much to the dismay of Seth.. he has not quite grasped the utter importance of the act of cleaning every nook and cranny of EVERY nook and cranny. literally. ;) I must admit, we have gotten into more than one argument because of my over-obsessive-cleanliness... perhaps I need to nonchalantly open his "expectant father book" to just the right page explaining the nesting phenomenon. Heck, I better... I am sure it will only get more intense from here on out: I FINALLY HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD ON MY HANDS :D

In more important news, Krümel finally has a name and identity! What an utter intense feeling it was, "meeting" my son for the first time. You can read all about it in my last post.. the feeling still lingers and with ever minute, with every kick, with every movement I fall more in love with him!

And now for all the little details in more depth, without ado... survey time:

How far along? 19 weeks (6 days)

Baby's size and development ? In these past 16 days since I have updated on incubating my love, SO much has happened. Lennon has grown from the size of a turnip to a sweet potato to a mango! As of today he is approximately 6.5 inches long and 9 oz light. His sense of touch, smell, taste, sight and hearing are developing ever so rapidly and there is definitely proof for that. Whenever I play music he dances, whenever i shine direct light onto my stomach, he moves, whenever i poke my stomach, he punches/ kicks back - it's magic. He has also developed some mad yawning and hiccuping skills, we actually SAW him yawn on the ultrasound... talk about a heart melting.

Weight Gain? I have not weighed myself since the last appointment over 1.5 weeks ago ;) At that time I was at 6lbs.........

Maternity clothes? still just the one pair of pants. in no need for more for the time being.

Sleep? Same old same old. Falling asleep is rather nice. Staying asleep/ falling back asleep has also been good, it's the 5/6 am wake-ups that I am not to crazy about. I won't complain though, I get more time to NEST during the day that way ;)

Best moment these past 2 weeks? Does that really need to be said? Finding out the gender of course! That should go into the best moment of my life.. alongside the day I met Seth and our wedding day of course ;)

Also, the entire day of finding out who was growing inside of me was pretty amazing. I just noticed that I have not chronicled this yet, and I definitely want to remember November 12th in every little detail for the rest of my life, so here goes:

Seth and I woke up pretty early, but who can blame us, right? The appointment was scheduled for 9:00 am and I am forever grateful for that. I have no idea how I could have gone about my day if it was any later. We were in fact up so early, we had 3 hours to spare and so we made our way to the Starbucks closest to the Dr.'s office. I had a half cup of coffee to assure littly was moving for us ;) and we chatted about our future child for what seems forever. I kept telling Seth that I was 100% positive we were having a boy, but he insisted it was a girl. Walking into the office was so surreal, and it truly felt like eternity until they called my name. At the last ultrasound they did all the boring data stuff first, so I was quite surprised when we were ushered into the ultrasound room immediately. I think my heart stopped once we entered the room -and did not start resuming until I heard those 3 amazing words :)

The technician was rather... technical and cold. I am sure she gets nervous parents-to-be like us ten times a day and sadly the sweet magical anticipation in the air does not affect her anymore. She took all the measurements for the Dr first, my favorite part was when she exclaimed: "That's a great looking cerebrum" haha. All looked wonderfully healthy and right on track, and we are ever so thankful for this. Out of the blue she then asked if we wanted to know what we were having, and you should have heard Seth's reply!! (as a matter of fact, I have a video of it!! I made Seth sneakily record the reveal ;) Needless to say, it was very exuberant. I was laying there, shivering, staring at the black and white screen only making out... a blob. And so she says: "Congratulations, It's a Boy" and with that all I hear was a maniacal laugh -eerily similar to that of woody woodpecker- emerging from my husband in the corner. (I really need to upload that video now ;) It goes without saying that all I did was sob on my little paper covered exam table. From there all seems a blur, and I know we carried the largest smiles on our faces for the rest of the day. Trophy ultrasound pictures in hand, we left the office and went straight to.... Babies r' Us. Neither Seth nor I have stepped foot into a baby store/ baby isle since finding out we were expecting. We saved this for especially this day, and it was perfect. We must have looked similar to what a pubescent teenage boy would look like going into Victoria's Secret for the first time... We bought Lennon his very first outfits and spoiled him rotten. Later that afternoon I baked cupcakes for the dinner with our closest friends revealing the gender. It was perfect and we are grateful for amazing friends and an even more amazing aunt and uncle who spoiled Lennon with gifts as well. ;) We went to bed a happy family that night, knowing we have a son on the way.

and of course without further ado, Lennon's second ever picture :)

Movement? holy amazing. I can definitely feel more than just tiny rumbles and kicks these days... His movements are massive and all over the place, completely different from 2 weeks ago. I can actually SEE him move now! The best part? Seth can see and feel him now, too. It is so incredible. I now understand why mothers always have this silly love-drunk look on their faces whenever they talk about their babies moving within. I will definitely miss this the most. Lennon is most active in the morning around 8-9 am and during the afternoon around 4-5. It's like clockwork... but as mentioned above, I can also entice him to move around whenever I feel like it.... he is so in tune with the outside world already. my love.

Food cravings? nope. food and I have been great and constant friends throughout this thus far. nothing crazy, eating habits are just as they have always been.

Symptoms? My stomach has exploded! enough said.

Gender? A BOY!!! (I've been waiting to write this for 20 weeks ;) Finding out was pure magic filled with unicorns jumping over rainbows and starry eyed dreams..... I am not exaggerating one bit :) I think I can live off of this high until I meet him face to face... and then? I can not even fathom that feeling...

What I miss? Coffee to my hearts content. For the first time since months have I indulged in Seth's freshly brewed morning coffee that I was so addicted to before pregnancy (4 cups each morning back then!). Oh......It was divine, but I stopped myself at one :)

What I'm looking forward to? the holidays, nesting: HIS NURSERY!

Emotions: I am over the moon and in love with the world and my son.

Welcome to your identity, Littly :)

The day I have been anticipating all my life has come and gone, but the feeling of utter elation and pure, raw love is remaining and here to stay. I've literally dreamed and fantasized about this day since I was a little girl.

As every little girl, i wondered who exactly this person would be that I would one day marry. I imagined how old he was at that time (I was maybe 8... Seth was already 14 ;) what he looks like, what his name is...

I fantasized about my wedding day, how old I would be, what my dress would look like... It had to be on a beach!

But the one thing about my future that was fantasized and wished and dreamed about more than anything was who my first born would be. Ever since I can remember I've wanted 2 boys first, and then a little girl.

These babies always starred in my made believe games, their imaginary names ranged from Torben to Alexander to Noah to Connor.... My dolls were always boys.

Fast forward 15 something years:

My childhood dreams and imaginations are taking shape, they are becoming reality and I could have never dreamed how perfect they would turn out:

I have the perfect husband from my dreams, he is ever so handsome and perfect for me, his name is Seth (if you don't know yet ;) and we had the wedding of my dreams 2.5 yrs ago (when i was 23) at the beach!

Fast forward to August 1st, 2010:

My ultimate childhood dream came true, I was pregnant... And immediately the wheels started reeling. Who is this little person that conquered my heart from moment one, who will this person be?

For 18 weeks I have been pondering, fantasizing and imagining. So many times did my instincts point to girl, 90% of all people guessed you were a girl, for 16+ weeks I was rather convicts you may be a girl, too.

Then something changed, I felt you move for the first time and ever since that moment, I internally just knew! I just knew who you were! I remember revealing this to your dad the morning we found out, right before, when I had a little bit of morning coffee to ensure you would move a lot and reveal to us who you are ;)

Daddy was shocked and still believed in a girl!

Then, the ever anticipated moment I found out the identity of my firstborn came: You are a boy! As I knew you always would be...

The feeling is indescribable, all i can say is: It feels so right.

Lennon William Berry, we can not wait to meet you! The day you arrive will end a chapter of life and open a new one... The one I have anticipated and dreamed for since I can remember!

You could not be more perfect, more loved, more wanted!

You are my dream come true!

** Lennon is happily kicking away as I am typing this from my hotel room in Hong Kong!! We arrived yesterday night, it is now 7am and I am taking in the hustle and bustle of a never sleeping city!

These next 5 days will be intense, but the 18/19 week update (with lots more detailed info on the anatomy scan) will come shortly)

Nursery Decor: Part I

today marks 18 weeks of pregnancy and a belly shot post will have to wait until friday (when we find out if littly is a boy or a girl! EEK; can you hear me squeal?!) but instead, today i will write a little about one of my favorite subjects:

as promised, there will be a few installments covering littly's nursery, today features part 1: Crib and Bedding.

I have numerous ideas for the nursery decor, and mostly it will be pretty unisex. The wall color will be a "seafoamy-green-turquoise", the furniture will be all white, the layout simple and clean. I have always been attracted to the more modern and clean lines of things, embellished by a few vintage and timeless pieces here and there. That's what littly's room will ultimately consist of: clean modern furniture accompanied by vintage and timeless decor. Think: Vintage hot air balloons, Kites, Clouds, Bunting etc.

I am getting ahead of myself though, I think the heart of the matter will ultimately be the bedding, and I have SO many ideas and options, I think this will be the hardest to decide on.

But let's start with the crib:

#1. Features my ideal crib. The price tag ($700) scared me off from day one of discovery and still needs a lot of convincing, and maybe a "pay raise", to even be considered. I however adore the clean lines and modern design, it has such a light and airy feel. And bonus: it is manufactured in Europe, what's not to love about that? ;)

#2. features a crib that compromised in price at a reasonable $300. It has great reviews and would fit my criteria of being modern, simple, and white. I do not like the bottom portion and this would have to be refinished and painted white (or an accent color).

#3. is a true contender in the race of being the save haven for my little one, come April. not only do i ADORE ikea products, and not only does it fit all my design aesthetics to a tee, but the price tag is undeniably appealing!! ($100.. really?) The reviews are spectacular and it complies with all safety and health codes.

and lastly..... #4 and #5... a girl can dream, right? basically both are completely out of the question ($1000) but I absolutely ADORE both of them, and even-though neither is especially modern, they are both absolutely divine and dreamy and perfect.

Now for the bedding, this has been a back and forth and I am still not 100% decided on what exactly will be incorporated. I adore the look of the whole set (i.e. bumper, sheets, bedskirt etc) but may forego the bed skirt and use the bumper only for "decor" as I've read rather mixed reviews on the use of bumpers... we shall see.

Nonetheless, here are my contenders:

#1. is ULTRA feminine and I am positively in love with the shabby chic look. I think it would work lovely in a very girly nursery, and I know I can make this one work. (and would it not look perfectly divine with crib #4 or 5? ;) I am just not 100% on the colors. I have ordered swatches which will help with the decision. And of course this set is only applicable if Littly is a girl :) I am absolutely in love with the website this little number comes from. It is called "Baby Bedding" and they have some of the most lovely choices of baby bedding out there.. Which brings me to number 2, 3, and 4

#2, #3, #4 are all from the same company as above, but guess what? They are custom designs? EEK, if you know me, any place that will let me have free reign on design is my best friend. I've spent way too many hours (in the middle of the night ;) designing and scheming the perfect bedding for my little. Here are my 3 favorite designs:

you can see that 2 and 3 are very similar, they utilize the same floral fabric as the set above, just in less frilly form ;) as mentioned before, I like things a little more simple.

And number 4 will be perfect for a little boy, and i can definitely see a paper mache hot airballon floating over his crib with this bedding :)

And lastly, #6 and #7 are once again from the ever so fabulous Restoration Hardware Baby collection and the most pricey. But hey, I have a 20% off coupon that just may come in handy ;)

#6 would be for a boy, but can work equally well for a girl. #7 definitely screams girl, just like #1.

All in all, (and being reasonable) I am leaning towards crib #3 with bedding #1 or #6. I will have to run all these by Mr. Dad, but knowing him, he will give me free reign and trust me 100% to make a perfect haven for our little one.

I am just SO freaking excited about friday, and giving little squirm an identity, calling him/her by name (stay tuned for that reveal come friday, as well!) and starting on the nursery! I never thought I would adore this whole process so much.... beware, I just may have 19 kids and counting....

17 weeks: time is flying

this week has been rather eventful: we moved into our very own, very first, very brand-new house! crafted costumes and celebrated halloween. experienced lots of breathtaking baby movement; i call that a perfect week!

still, these days all seem a blur, not unlike a dream you desperately try to remember. i wished i could do better justice in document this part of our life, it seems to slip through my fingers every time i try to get a tight grip on it... time is still running amok! can someone stop it please so i can catch a breath and soak in the minutes rather than hours?

one thing is for certain, the love i feel for this little being inside of me, is growing ever so speedily and there is no stopping it. these days i am reminded of the miracle of life that is growing within me -not by constant nausea, breakouts and vomit- but by my ever growing stomach and by our little one saying "hi" ever so often; it marvels me every-time -catches me off guard and takes my breath away.

life progresses ever so rapidly, the season is changing, and with it comes so much change. everything screams Christmas -a newfound favorite time of year for me. it is funny how with age, your preferences and priorities change. i used to love summer and would not have any other season, i would have happily dropped everything and moved to always-sunny-florida without hesitation... but as does so much in life, this has changed drastically. i need the change of seasons, i need the breathtaking spectacle of changing leaves, i need cold winters and cozy fires and frost on the lawn in early November! as i am soaking in the morning hours, wrapped into a cozy comforter, hot chocolate in hand.. i could not imagine a more perfect season. the transition is so meaningful to me, so much change is in store. and then, when winter meets spring the most anticipated event of the year will unfold... and i just can not wait... so time, carry on as you wish because i am ready!

How far along? 17 Weeks (and 3 days)

Baby's size and development ? Krümel is approximately the size of a turnip this week. have you seen a turnip lately? its giganourmous ;) - a whole 5 inches (the size of my hand!), and i believe it. Krümel is ever so gracefully taking over my stomach and i am in love with the way my body is changing. littly is definitely starting to gain noticeable weight and is now heavier than the placenta. littly can also hear noises and voices now and will jump when s/he is startled by loud noise aka. dogs going barking with every car passing... grrr.

Weight Gain? about 4 lbs.

Maternity clothes? still just the one pair of pants. in no need for more for the time being.

Sleep? what is sleep? it's been rather rough, i can only "comfortably" sleep on my sides. laying on my stomach is impossibly uncomfortable and so is laying on my back. the pressure is intense and to be quite honest, laying on my back and being able to see and feel my uterus so clearly freaks me out a bit. i wake up 2-3 times a night because a. i am parched and b. the toilet is calling my name. my poor bladder seems the size of a pea these days... in contrary to the inability of actually staying asleep, falling asleep is a "dream" ;) by 9pm i am so utterly exhausted, that once i hit the bed i am out like a light. this leads to a normal wake-up time of about 7am. naps are rare these days, i can definitely go the whole day without and feeling perfectly energized... but then again, maybe i should sneak one in every now and push my old-people bed time back a little ;)

Best moment this week? definitely moving. oh what a divine feeling to be in a house that is all yours, that you can decorate to your hearts content; that is truly home sweet home.

Movement? lots and lots. and it is the best evidence that there truly IS someone growing in there. i started to doubt being pregnant there for a little ;)

Food cravings? nope. this is normal, right? ;)

Symptoms? just a growing bump... and WELL.... the fluke vomiting about once a week. what is up with that, i though i left this horrific symptom behind with the going of my first trimester?

Gender? 6 more days. OHMYGOSH. i am so ready to know. i have no gut feeling at all at the moment. i will be over the moon about either. i think this has to do with the fact that i am IN LOVE with both names we have picked. i refer to littly to either name in rotation, and both melt my heart each time and just feel right. heck, perhaps there are two in there after all ;) ;)

What I miss? non pregnancy related: spending time with my husband :( this has been a rare occasion. with him leaving when i wake and coming back home due to night classes when i am already in bed, only the weekends are left for quality time.. and those have been spend traveling, shooting weddings, packing up a house and moving etc. these past 2 months. i simply can not wait for this weekend to be over, in 1.5 hrs i will be heading to Richmond, VA and this is the last wedding of the year! after that? husband time ALL weekend, EVERY weekend.

What I'm looking forward to? next friday, 9:00 am!!!

Emotions: anxious. ;)